Tim McCarver Challenges the Theory of Intelligent Life on Earth
The National League Championship Series is once again providing legal cover for FoxSports to bring a national audience into the strange world of announcer Tim McCarver.
It's a world where getting a walk is sometimes better than hitting a homerun, and all these new-fangled sabermetric statistics will never give you the feel of what real baseball is all about: you know, all that tough old-school macho stuff like tobacco juice dribbling down the side of a players cheek.
As you watch Tim McCarver this week (and, god help us, beyond) you can start your own collection of McCarver's dramatically tedious stories and absurd observations about America's pastime. And if there's a better argument for the authorities to mandate forced medication I haven't seen it. While McCarver has provided us with legions of embarrassing broadcasting gaffs, there are only two you need to know about to fully understand the depth of the man's ineptitude.
During a 2010 FoxSports TV broadcast of a Yankee-Tampa Bay game, McCarver began ranting about how badly Yankee ownership had treated recently departed Manager Joe Torre, claiming the team had "airbrushed" Torre from the team's history. The McCarver went on to compare Torre's treatment to how Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union under Josef Stalin treated their generals who had fallen out of favor.
"You remember some of those despotic leaders in World War II, primarily in Russia and Germany, where they used to take those pictures that they had ... taken of former generals who were no longer alive, they had shot 'em," McCarver said. "They would airbrush the pictures, and airbrushed the generals out of the pictures. In a sense, that's what the Yankees have done with Joe Torre."
Fox issued an incredible apology saying, "Tim McCarver regrets using the World War II analogies, and given his contrition and flawless 25-year track record we're comfortable that no further action is necessary."
The second McCarver story. During his TV broadcast of Game 6 of the 1996 World Series, McCarver noticed a camera shot that showed a fan sitting behind home plate holding up a sign that read "John 3:16".
"That guy is a true Yankee fan, " bloviated McCarver, "because he knows [pitcher] Tommy John's career ERA."
Being McCarver, he also got Tommy John's career ERA incorrect: it's 3.34, not 3:16.






Game 2 of the National League Championship Series saw the perfect confluence of Cards' left fielder Matt Holliday acting like a complete aperture for the evacuation of human waste, and FoxSports TV broadcastor Tim McCarver once again demonstrating why we might just need death panels in this country.
Just like the Major League Baseball season is long, a seven game playoff series is also long. There is time to lose, time to regroup, and time to recover and win. But... all the evidence suggests the National League Championship Series just got shorter for the San Francisco Giants with their 6-4 loss to St. Louis in the opening game.
In the process, Giants' franchise history got richer with Buster Posey's extensive resume quickly turning into a multi-page document, and the emergence of Hunter Pence as the team's newly designated inspirational speaker.
And the second standout moment? Watching Barry Zito celebrating with his teammates in the visiting clubhouse in Cincinnati after the clinching Game 5 victory. Zito was not on the 2010 postseason roster and watched the entire proceedings as a non-participant from the dugout. To see Zito splashing champagne and yelling at the top of his lungs as a member of this postseason squad was gratifying and poignant.
The curse of the five game series now looms in that mid-America wonderland known as Ohio. The Cincinnati Reds went 50-31 at home his season; only the New York Yankees won more home games (and they won exactly one more).
The Giants' Ryan Vogelsong feels he has to continually prove himself to the baseball establishment-- a victory in game 3 would go a long way to solidify his late-career resurgence. The Giants bullpen also needs to get assertive and it may be time to sit Santiago Casilla down for a game or two.
In 2012 not only is hitting and run scoring on the table for San Francisco, those will need to be the Giants' #1 weapons if they are going to pull off a Division Series win against a terrifically strong Cincinnati Reds team.
The two 800 pound gorillas sitting in the room throughout the Giants-Red NLDS will be the effects created by their respective ballparks. AT&T in San Francisco is one of the top pitching ballyards in the game and Giant starters have become expert at using its vast dimensions to their advantage by pitching to contact and putting balls in play. Otherwise known as long fly outs.
The San Francisco Giants know they will be facing either the Washington Nationals or the Cincinnati Reds in the upcoming 2012 National League Division Series. As though speaking in one voice, virtually every Bay Area sports commentator, broadcaster, sports talk radio host and peanut vendor has pronounced that the Giants would be much better off if they faced the Cincinnati Reds rather than the Nationals.
The Red's closer is one of the most dominating young players in the game. Twenty-four year old Aroldis Chapman has put up some some stunning numbers to date: 36 saves, 1.55 ERA, 0.79 WHIP, and 119 strikeouts in 69.2 innings pitched. He routinely throws at and above 100 MPH and backs up his four seam fastball with a darting slider. As of August, Aroldis Chapman's career strikeouts to innings pitched is 14.66.
The Washington Nationals/Montreal Expos franchise made the NL playoffs a total of one time in 44 years-- in 1981 when they lost the NLCS. So Washington enters the NLDS as a young team with virtually no playoff experience.
A baseball season always looks so clear after the fact. How clear? In the words of Jack Nicholson's Col. Nathan Jessup, "crystal". And that rule can apply even before the season is actually over. Like, for example, the San Francisco Giants' 2012 regular season (you didn't really think I was going to do 650 words on the Houston Astros... ).
San Francisco Giants shortstop Brandon Crawford certainly shares his team's passion to make the playoffs, get into the 2012 World Series and come away with a World Champsionship ring. But the rookie infielder is also on another mission: Crawford wants to finish the 2012 season with at least a .250 batting average.
Now is the time for MLB teams with a shot to make the post season to make critical decisions about their starting rotations and batting line-ups. Setting up for the playoffs involves not only putting your best players in a position where they can excel, it's also about first round match-ups with likely opponents.
3. Chilling Out the Panda