Baseball headlines from newspapers around the Nation:
  

 

 

 

NEW YORK YANKEES PURCHASE NATIONAL LEAGUE CENTRAL DIVISION
“We’re Always Looking to Improve Our Club,” Stated Yankee General Manager Brian Cashman

BASEBALL COMMISSIONER BUD SELIG TO EXPAND NUMBER OF MLB WILD CARD TEAMS
“Basically, Every Team Except Pittsburgh and Kansas City Will Make the Playoffs Each Year,” Affirmed Selig.

FLORIDA MARLINS TO CHANGE NAME WHEN NEW STADIUM OPENS IN 2012
Team Will Be Called the “Los Angeles Marlins of Miami” to Cash In On Name Recognition Merchandizing Associated With Nation’s Second Largest City

CLEVELAND INDIANS WILL GO TO 200 GAME SEASON IN 2011
Commissioner Explains That “Numerous” American League Teams Have Demanded More Regulation Games Against the Hapless AL Central Franchise

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES HIRE BLACKWATER TO RUN CITIZENS BANK PARK STADIUM SECURITY
New Blackwater On Field Supervisor, Dick Cheney, Promises Use of  Predator Drones